The balancing act

 The other day I saw another AMC mom post something asking how to balance, well, life. She was asking other mom's who are ahead of her in the AMC game for guidance. I was so excited to see that another mom was struggling with trying to balance life. She too had two toddlers and her third had AMC. I was even more excited to see that veteran mom's explained that you just have to focus on what is more important. As long as the house is live-able, you don't need to focus on it. And try to enjoy your family. It can be easy to get caught up in everything that you forget to stop, smile, and enjoy being a family. 
Lately Kyle and I have been dealing with guilt. Guilt because Anabelle will face surgery, castings, difficulties, and many unknowns. Guilt because we've been so focused on Anabelle that our other two girls and household chores have been pushed aside. 
I have been so focused on AMC and Anabelle that I have pushed my relationship with Kyle aside. I have become obsessed with researching everything and anything AMC related. I try to search every symptom that Anabelle has. I know it's unhealthy. I need to find the balance between taking care of Anabelle and ensuring I am up-to-date on the newest therapy, treatments, etc, and giving everyone else in the family attention too. It might not seem like a big list, but it is overwhelming for me. Add this to pumping, breastfeeding, weighing Anabelle, keeping track of all of this, dealing with insurance, and household chores...I'm exhausted. 
I wonder at times why we were chosen for this life, because right now I have no idea how we are going to survive it. Then I look at all three of my girls and Kyle and am reminded why. I am beyond thankful for each of my girls. I am so thankful for Kyle. He has been wonderful, and I know I take him for granted. 
I think I just need to remember to breath and everything will be ok. Take one day at a time and let go of control over the future. I don't know what lies ahead, so why fret so much over it today? Being a control freak is making this difficult. 
I know all in all, things will be fine. We just need to be reminded that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and we will get there eventually :)


With love,
The Polks